Wednesday, August 3, 2011

Teddy in the mix

At least that's the name of the new sitcom we're pitching to NBC.

Matt and Diana were living the dream: they'd escaped the rat race, were living in a Latin American paradise with their two young, impressionable children, when one day Diana's 22-year-old godson shows up on their doorstep, bags in hand and a "here I am!" look on his face.

Get ready for hilarious hijinks and sidesplitting laughs as stages of life collide. But don't let your guard down for those special and tender life moments like a hot cup o' cocoa for your heart.
Two weeks in, still living off piles on the floor
The key to any sitcom is a good dynamic, and it certainly adds something to our little apartment to have a twenty-something shuffling in at 2 a.m., talking sports and chicks, and generally providing a perspective we've lacked since...well, probably since the last time we woke up with our faces stuck to the side of a toilet (umm...maybe I should make that the royal we).

Teddy has a heart like a beanbag (big, squishy, and wrap-around) and drive like cooked spaghetti. His parents must not realize that they stuck him with two other noodles who have always struggled with focus and discipline, but we're hoping that he'll simultaneously see us as both modest success stories in overcoming youthful ennui (it's never too late to quit bartending!) and scared straight role models (this could happen to you too, kid).

Sermon on the mount (and others in the kitchen, on the sofa, at the bar...)

Either way, Diana can't help but feel motherly towards her godson (she stayed up till 3 a.m. the first night he was out past reasonable). And I can't help feeling like it's great to have another guy around. Somewhere in between smothering the kid and corrupting him further, we really just hope that this experience changes his life, even if it's not a revelatory experience, but rather something that bends the arc of his life; something that changes his perspective on the world and his place in it.

Good god, did I just say that? Did I just speak like a teacher in Charlie Brown? Have I become "one of them" and just deluding myself that I can hang with a 22-year-old and shoot the mierda.

Don't move while I throw this at your face
Doesn't matter. Teddy has no choice but to hang out with the adults unless he's prepared to be fed to the all too eager chicks in the nest. Last time Piper saw Teddy he was still quite clearly a kid, and one of a set of brothers that she knows as Big Fish, Medium Fish, and Little Fish (which is Teddy, though he has since been promoted to Medium Fish because...ah forget it; it's 7-year-old stuff). But that's the memory she's got, so his arrival was like waiting for Christmas to come. And even though he is now physically an adult, that he doesn't have "things to do" all the time makes him more like them than us in their eyes. And without the usual lot of close relationships the kids have at home, they have tons of spare love and affection to give out. Kid love really needs lots of different vessels to receive it, and they have opened the fire hose of pent-up affection on Tio Teo. He's got experience with younger kids as well, and is great with them. But that experience means he probably has little to learn from our kids (though the things they can learn from a young North American bachelor, however, are terrifying to consider).

Before this they ate an entire meal over the sink

And mommy and daddy certainly aren't unhappy for the surrogate wrassler, child carrier, and babysitter that's part of the package. My back is already feeling better, and Diana doesn't have so many paw marks on her sides and forearms from demanding pups. So, hey, if all Teddy finds here is cheaper cocktails, at least we get some free babysitting and housework out of the deal...and maybe a deal with NBC.


  1. I loved this post! I hope NBC is smart enough to start production immediately :)

  2. Susan, you can't believe everything you read in this post... I would never eat a meal over the kitchen sink!

  3. One of the things that is consistently mentioned in (retirees') blogs - how much family is missed.

    I hope that they are reading yours...this is what is known as a mixed blessing.

    Personally, I am green over his "Let's do it" visit - shows a lot of his personality.

    Family is family is family...everybody have a great time.

    Charlotte NC